Throughout my time in a tutu I’ve been asked,
“So…why did you start wearing a tutu?”
Some people thought I’d been wearing one my whole teaching career.
Some thought it was something I wore to help with my TpT store.
Others just thought I was weird.
I’ve never felt 100% comfortable telling the whole tale, but here it is:
The Tale of The Tutu Teacher
As many of you know, I moved from Texas to Massachusetts a little over three years ago. It was 2012 and my then boyfriend now husband, had lost his job. As we talked and talked about our next moves…I told him to find a job that would make him happy. A job where he would finally have the chance to do what he wanted to everyday. A job where he would be happy. Although I never imagined leaving Texas, I encouraged him to find a job anywhere. As he searched and searched for the perfect job, I started to prep my friends and family for a potential move. It didn’t take long for my husband to find a job…in Massachusetts. He accepted the job and we drove him up to the East Coast so he could start work.
Meanwhile…I finished my school year in Texas…searched for a new job…said goodbye to my family and friends and packed up our home.
In July of 2012, we moved from Texas to Massachusetts.
I started my new job with five years of teaching under my belt. I was a pretty confident Kindergarten teacher and was prepared to accept the challenges of teaching in a new state, new school, with new people.
I wasn’t prepared.
Not only did I struggle with missing my family and friends. I struggled with meeting people and finding friends.
Don’t get me wrong, people were friendly to me (not driving in their cars though…OMG Boston drivers are crazy). They asked me questions about Texas and sympathized with me being so far away…
I wasn’t trusted. Or invited into conversations.
I was often told “This is how we do things.”
I lost my voice.
I didn’t feel like myself.
Now…I’m sure I could have imagine much of this or I could blame it on hyped up emotions.
Either way, I didn’t feel like Vera.
I could tell I was most effected by my interactions with my students.
I didn’t feel bubbly or goofy or hilarious or silly.
I wasn’t sure what I was going to be. I had some butterfly wings and I watched some tutu tutorials online and thought, “I can do this.” So I was a butterfly in a tutu for Halloween. Nothing spectacular or creative…but it helped me feel more like the me I was in Texas.
And I thought, what if I wear another tutu for Thanksgiving?
So I bought more tulle and cut and cut and cut and made another tutu for Thanksgiving.
And I felt even more like the Vera I’ve always been.
And slowly, I started to ignore the “That’s how we do things” comments.
And slowly, I connected more with the people I work with.
And slowly, I made more tutus.
And suddenly, I was The Tutu Teacher.
It’s who I’ve always been. And even if I stop wearing a tutu tomorrow (I won’t because tutus are awesome and I love wearing them but IF) I’d still feel this happy. I don’t need the tutu to be who I am…but I helped me to express who I always was.
So now…when I get frustrated or stuck in the routine of school politics and drama…I find zen in my inner tutu…and keep twirling along.